"Motor City" misses the mark and turns into a spoof of itself

 

In some ways, Motor City recalls movies of yore, the grindhouse flicks of the 1970s. You know, cheap lighting, stylized gore, and moral ambiguity across all the characters. But the biggest problem with this Potsy Ponciroli feature, which focuses about a wrongly imprisoned brute (Alan Ritchson) whose escape from prison sets him against the crooks who put him there - and also stole the woman of his dreams, Sophia (Shailene Woodley), is that its too pretentious for its own good.

Choosing to carry out his narrative mostly dialogue free (about 98% of the narrative is silent, accompanied only by classic tunes of the 1970s), Ponciroli fails, and not so admirably. We don't know these "mute" characters at all: not what makes them tick, not what warms their hearts - and especially not why Sophia so easily reunites with Reynolds (Ben Foster), the gangster whose villainy ruins the protagonist's life. 

There is a time and a place for a silent work to blossom (The Artist, first hour of Wall-E, etc) in today's Hollywood. But Motor City spoofs the gimmick into a parody that plays like a hundred-minute long movie trailer, going nowhere. It's as miscalculated a movie as there's been in 2026.

☆

"The Breadwinner" is proof Bargatze should stay on stage, and avoid features

 

Nate Bargatze is as likable a comic as there's ever been. He doesn't curse, doesn't raise his voice, and speaks about common things with the wit of an expert comic. But as an actor, as a screenwriter whose Hollywood showcase is the new 'comedy', The Breadwinner, he falls quite far from his mark.

When his wife, Katie (Mandy Moore), comes across a great business opportunity, Nate Wilcox (Bargatze) becomes the sole home maker, where he takes charge of his three children, and dozens of daily chores. This includes, among other things, a horse that runs rampant through their house, destroying everything in sight. It would be funny - sort of - if it wasn't so desperate and over-the-top. There're few things worse than a comedy without - or with a few - laughs, but that's exactly what The Breadwinner is.

I hope Bargatze sticks to his stage comedy, and avoids making movies, unless he comes across a fitting script that properly compliments his talents. Until then, please, for the love of f---, no more of this.

☆1/2

This "Balthazar" is no hero - in fact, he's a selfish little bitch

 

We've been overdo for an anti gun violence American satire. Sadly, Oscar Boyson new drama, Our Hero, Balthazar, is all over the place with its tone, its drama, but most of all - with it characters. When a rich, out-of-touch teenager, Balthazar (Jaeden Martell) learns that another Texas youth, Solomon (Asa Butterfield), is preparing to do a mass shooting, he travels there. One would think that the movie's narrative would really take-off at the point of their union, but sadly, it does the opposite.

Biggest problem with this movie is that its central character, Balthazar, is an abominable piece of crap. He's not so much a human as he is a sponge for fame and recognition and online/TV glory. He has no admirable principles. What's worse, the climax scene, the moment when everything goes off the rails, is executed so forcibly that it feels as if Boyson is shoving it down our throats, without allowing his screenplay volition to get us there naturally, and more believably. 

Our Hero, Balthazar is the biggest miss of all, because there was so much potential here. It could've gone completely into the dark comedy, biting satire route; instead, it settles for elevating a monster character, when it should've taken a giant shit on him.

☆☆

"Gail" and her sex pass are a little too offbeat for their own good

 

Zoey Deutsch's charm can sway many a man off their chosen paths. She has carried movies like Buffaloed and Set It Up practically all by herself. But in Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass, she finally runs into a script that is too offbeat, too quirky, and - at times - too raunchy for her sweet face and good natured personality.

When Gail (Deutsch) catches her fiance, Tom (Michael Cassidy) cheating on her, he claims innocence by evoking their "celebrity sex pass" agreement. Furious, she storms off to Los Angeles with her hairstylist friend, Otto (Miles Gutierrez-Riley), in order to have sex with a celebrity of her choice: Jon Hamm, who happily plays himself.

Gail Daughtry is a sometimes funny, sometimes bohemian, and often tonally inconsistent movie. Whereas I expected a conclusion involving heart and self-discovery, what I got was an awkward love making scene, one involving the titular heroine and her Hollywood crush. It came across as odd and disingenuous, rendering any meaningful arc as non-existent. I'll remember some of the funny parts here for a while, but I'm sure I won't be watching them again.

☆☆1/2

"Maddie" aims for profoundity, but manages only ridicule

 

The writer/director of Maddie's Secret, John Early, does not look like a woman. Not really. Yet he plays one in his new movie, to an effect more comical than he actually intended. His Maddie Ralph is married, and after her husband catches her throwing up, she panics and says, "I'm pregnant." It's a poor excuse to cover up her ongoing bulimia, but what's a girl to do?

At first, I thought Maddie was a trans woman. But after her husband believed her lie, I was left dumbfounded. So Maddie's character is ... a woman? Has always been one? Yet ... she's played by a male actor? The ensuing confusion was so overwhelming that soon I was laughing - not with the characters and their story, but AT them. This is hardly a project that anyone should take seriously - it's a melodrama masquerading as a parody, pretending to be noble and profound. 

I really don't know what else to say to this hammy, amateurish effort - where all the actors look as if they were cast on the day of production - except to scratch my head. The critics were enamored with it, which only adds to the mystery. Maddie's Secret is so baffling you have to see it to believe it; but then again, why would you?
☆ 

Theatrical layout of "The Invite" limits its reach

 

Based on the 2020 Spanish film (The People Upstairs), Olivia Wilde's The Invite is a biting, engaging adult comedy. It doesn't reach for the stars, nor does it need to. It merely places two middle aged couples in an enclosed space, and lets them nod, smile and agree; then disagree, attempt to cross-fornicate, and, eventually, learn valuable lessons along the way. Not a revolutionary concept, by any stretch of the imagination.

Reminiscent of one setting and limited character dramas, such as Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966) and Carnage (2011), what The Invite lacks in scope in more than makes up in its performances. Edward Norton, Penelope Cruz and Seth Rogen all hold their own, but the queen of the quartet is director Olivia Wilde. She outdoes herself here, pulling weight on both sides of the camera. Her Angela is frustrated, depressed, and foolishly waiting a better tomorrow that never arrives; the actress projects this in every scene.

The Invite is entertaining and, at times, quite funny.  In a summer of spectacular epics and superhero adventures (The Odyssey and Spider Man: Brand New Day) it is a welcome change of pace.

☆☆☆

Where's the ugliness? This "Heron" is too safe for its own good

 

A hungarian family of six move to Vancouver Island, and watch their eldest, Jeremy (Edik Beddoes) act out. When the police bring him home one day, after a shoplifting incident, the social services get involved, and we learn that Jeremy only shares the same father with his other siblings - but not the mother.

Blue Heron is a passive movie, one where much is implied, but not a lot said. Feeling like a documentary, of sorts, it meanders about at snail's pace, and never manages to grip the audience in a meaningful way. The family, for all their proximity to the camera, never feel like authentic people; perhaps because when all was said and done, there was little insight into any particular character. It's as if they all knew a film crew was around, and wanted to be on their best behavior. 

One wonders how raw and authentic this could've been in a more daring filmmaker's hands; but alas, Sophy Romvari takes no chances.

☆☆

"The Dink" slaps, swings, and rallies - to a charismatic enough effect

 

Apple's new sports comedy, The Dink, is a mixed bag. For one, its lead, Jake Johnson, is likeable enough. But can he carry this kind of a formulaic sports story, and to new, unexplored heights? Well, yes - and no. But it doesn't hurt that his efforts are nicely assisted by the charms of Mary Steenburgen, Ed Harris, Ben Stiller, and even the former world no. 1 ranked tennis player, Andy Roddick. Yes, The Dink is that kind of a sports comedy: a once-upon-a-time promising prodigy is now past his prime, but given another shot to prove his athletic greatness at early middle age, can he rise to the occasion?

Banter between Johnson and Steenburgen is well handled here; they have great chemistry as actors, even as their characters fail to connect romantically (and for once, it isn't for reasons you'd think). Roddick's cameo is well used, and the retired tennis player holds his own, never overplaying his hand. Although The Dink is unlikely to make you laugh excessively, you will find yourself smiling a lot. Given how difficult it is to accomplish that these days, one may chalk it up as a half-win.

☆☆1/2

"Evil Dead Burn" is a shameless, tasteless, abhorrent attempt at 'horror'

 

Evil Dead franchise never should have been remade. The first two remakes (from 2013 and 2023) were subpar, at best. Sam Raimi's originals, from the 1980s, mixed goofy, slapstick horror with deaths that were horrid, but not quite repulsive. They were fun, in a twisted, tongue in cheek sort of way. Enter: Evil Dead Burn, a movie that takes the premise into an altogether different direction.

It seems that director Sebastien Vanicek's idea of horror is to make every scene as bloody, disgusting and nauseating as the last. Limbs are torn off, fingers cut off, heads smashed in (to the point of there being no head left). Throughout it all, not a single authentic moment of tension, suspension or true horror is to be found. Apparently, Vanicek is more a fan of Damien Leone's Terrifier franchise, then he is of true horror artists, like Ari Aster or Zach Cregger. Such a shame.

If I've not said anything about the plot, it's because there is no reason to. Movies like Evil Dead Burn exist to punish every sense of people who have even the slightest standard of cinematic decency. Imagine The Exorcist, but with every character - except one - possessed by a demonic entity. Now add the tasteless vile of the Saw franchise, and you'll get this movie. Garbage like this should really be illegal, but hey, what the hell do I know.

1/2 ☆

Last days of "Robin Hood" are ...

 

Hugh Jackman is a grizzled elder in The Death of Robin Hood, Michael Sarnoski's homage to the (in)famous, bow & arrow sporting wonder, Robin of Locksley. Way past his prime, and on the run from all the surviving kin of the countless folks he's killed in his youth, Robin stabs a female assassin in the throat, rips a man's hand in half, and sticks a burning torch in a man's head. All this takes place within the first twenty five minutes - before I've even had a chance to form a comfy groove in my seat. 

This is, by far, the darkest cinematic tale associated with Robin Hood. Parts of it feel like an ultraviolent Game of Thrones episode on steroids; while the latter half, involving old Robin's stay at a remote island, where a compassionate nurse (Jodie Comer) heals him, despite members of her family having been among Robin's victims. 

The Death of Robin Hood is not a great movie; it was never supposed to be. But it is way better than it deserves, focusing on a fading legend's remorse for the wrongful life he's lived, weighed by unmentionable guilt. Jackman outdoes himself in the role, and the final scene is uncommonly moving, despite its anti-hero's questionable morality.

☆☆☆

Blood soaked "Furious" moves at a frenetic pace with marvelous fight scenes

 

Two men, Wang Wei (Mo Tse) and Navin (Joe Taslim) infiltrate a child trafficking ring somewhere in Southeast Asia (the majority of storyline takes place in Thailand). Both are expert fighters, each looking for a person close to them (one of them searching for his daughter, the other for his wife). Needless to say, the fights they engage in with the villainous gangsters who partake in such awful activity are bloody, surreal, and nearly brilliant (in a sick, twisted way).

If one could fuse Sound of Freedom (2023) and an average Jackie Chan outing in his prime, they might end up with something like The Furious. Faces are punched, groins are kicked, knives slash flesh (and even sever an arm that just wouldn't quit); but probably the least expected fight of all involved two adversaries swinging bicycles at each other, in lieu of swords or spears. There is a majestic beauty to it, not to mention incredible skill by the actors/stuntmen.

Kenji Tanigaki's The Furious is a fast paced, ultra violent, exhilarating action movie. If you can tolerate some unnecessary gore here and there, you should be fine. I just hope you can hold your breath for nearly two hours; that's the requirement for surviving this thing.

☆☆☆

"Dead Lover" combines absurdity and surrealism - and a low budget - to mediocre effect

 

Grace Glowicki, the director - and star - of the absurdist feature, Dead Lover, has an appeal that transcends taste. Playing an unlikable grave digger, she's smitten with a man, only to be devastated after he later drowns at sea. Determined to resurrect him through various scientific means involving electricity, she only creates additional problems for herself and her small universe.

I'm not gonna lie: Dead Lover isn't for everyone. An even more accurate way to describe it is to say it's for a very select few. It's rather cheap looking, not very imaginative, with performances that feel too amateurish to leave an impression. Its vision is also limited by a low budget whose sets look like student film projects shot on the college stages. All of this, of course, would be easily forgiven if the movie was actually funny; but alas, it isn't. Not nearly as much as it needed to be.

Grace Glowicki may have a good movie in her - as a director and an actress - but she's not proved it here. I wanted to like Dead Lover, I really did. But I just couldn't pretend that something this mediocre ever needed to occupy nearly ninety minutes of my life. Regrets, regrets.

☆1/2

Vile and repulsive - but yet hilarious "Jackass" goes out with a bang

 

Jackass: Best and Last isn't the best of the series. But that's hardly a detriment. The daredevilish stunts are back in bunches, both new - and recaps of its historical best. It's disgusting, to be sure, and daring - and often disgustingly daring. Johnny Knoxville and crew shit themselves (while wearing clear plastic pants), get their balls kicked in by a rotating boot, and have an AI robot give Steve O a rectal exam.

Among the old footage, the best parts include Escape Room From Hell, where the Jackass boys have to dodge a deadly snake in absolute darkness. Also, bad grandpa (Knoxville) ends up at a bachelorette party, then strips to show off his hanging nutsack. But the clip that had me in stitches involved a bar fight of little people (including Wee Man), where a pair of little police officers show up to squash the brawl. 

Jackass: Best and Last is also quite vile at times, but if you're familiar with its nihilistic perversion, it will no longer sting as it once did. You will most certainly laugh way more than in an average Hollywood comedy. I, for one, will miss these guys, and the franchise entire.

☆☆☆

Flat and uninspired "Rose" drags on like the dullest of unimaginative dreams

 

It is never my intention to bash movies, but after watching Mark Jenkin's Rose of Nevada, a so-called 'science fiction' drama, I have not a single good thing to say. A story about two fishermen (George MacKay and Callum Turner) who board a recently found fishing vessel that's been missing for three decades, it drags along like a redundant dream, pretentiously maquarading like an artistic, profound tale. Shot on an outdated 16 mm stock and in a 1.33 aspect ratio, it feels like a student film that's at least ninety minutes too long.

I wish someone had told Jenkin that to pull an audience in - and especially to keep them hooked - one should open a movie with a more compelling sequence than a series of shots of rusty decay whose eight minutes length felt like forty. The fact that this movie sports a 92% Rotten Tomatoes rating is a travesty. Once again, I'm not hating for the sake of it, I'm merely trying to protect others from wasting two hours of their life, the way I had. Consider this review a dire warning.

ZERO STARS

Timely social themes rattle the heart of bold "Leviticus"

 

In a small Australian town, teenage boys Naim (Joe Bird) and Ryan (Stacy Clausen) are attracted to one another. The problem? Their strict, old fashioned community resents homosexuality. So what choice do their parents have, than to exorcise the gay out of them, via a specially gifted 'deliverance healer'? The consequence of such an action bring about an entity that threatens to destroy each boy - literally. 

Adrian Chiarella's Leviticus is a bold, at times terrifying, film about the burdens of being a homosexual in a society that has no tolerance for it. The performances by the two leads are excellent, as is the story's originality. The movie evokes hints and shades of other horror classics, such as It Follows, and the even more recent Obsession. It is a timely, socially conscious story, one that should resonate with anyone who's faced prejudice due to their sexual orientation - but especially those close to those individuals.

☆☆☆

Spider Man's evolution reaches new heights in extravagant Brand New Day

 

Of all the actors who've played Spider Man over the last two and half decades, Tom Holland is clearly the most successful. Is he the best actor for the role? Maybe. But watching Spider Man: Brand New Day, one can't help but wonder that his boyish face and endless charisma are the embodiment of what Peter Parker represents. Oh, it helps to have a top notch script and an excellent production to boot, as well.

In this latest installment, Peter faces his most unusual foe yet: a girl (Sadie Sink) whose telepathic powers can take over anyone's mind and turn them into Spider Man's enemy. Involved in her quest for vengeance is the Department of Damage Control, a prison for individuals with super or otherworldly powers. Along the way, Peter also crosses paths with MJ (Zendaya) and Ned (Jacob Batalon), friends whom have forgotten him after their adventures in the previous installment.

In addition to being an exhilarating action movie with several spectacular fighting sequences, Brand New Day is also a heartfelt examination of how lost friendships and relationships can affect even the most superhuman's abilities to focus on their everyday tasks. Peter Parker grows in more ways than one in this film, morphing into a character whose plights and tribulations deserve at least three more films; Holland's role and casting really are that good.

☆☆☆1/2

Good casting clashes with weak narrative in mixed "Supergirl"

 

There is no question that Milly Alcock's casting as the titular Supergirl is the film's strength. She possesses a rare charisma, an everyday girl-next-door look that makes her simultaneously ordinary and otherworldly. But given the all-over-the-place storyline she's stuck with, the result is a mixed bag - to say the least.

After a psychotic intergalactic murderer, called Krem of the Krem of the Yellow Hills (Matthias Schoenaerts) murders the family of a girl, Ruthye (Eve Ridley), she demands vengeance. Supergirl refuses to get involved, until the same murderer poisons her dog, Krypto. Needing to track him down in three days - in order to gain the precious antidote required to save her pet - the duo begins their intergalactic trek, visiting several solar system and planets in their quest for justice.

As mentioned above, the storyline is pretty thin, and the adventures in question resemble a sort of outer space, Star-Wars-meets-Mad-Max parodies, where science fiction and dystopia blend to deliver action and mayhem that is more family friendly than it should be. There's little doubt that Supergirl will return in ensuing Superman films. But based on the meekness of this outing, she may not get another movie of her own. 

☆☆

"Marama" suffers from undeveloped conflict and short running time

 

As a drama about a woman (Ariana Osborne) who's travelled from the distant New Zealand all the way to England, Marama attempts to tell a meaningful story. But as soon as blood and carnage are thrown at us at a frenetic pace, the developing horror takes away from the gothic mood and spooky production design. When the heroine uses a shovel to decapitate someone who's harmed her family members, I wasn't sure what the filmmakers were thinking.

Marama rides the politically correct wave about a NZ native who's suffered mental and physical damage on the hands of captors/colonizers with whom few will be able to sympathize. As a result, audiences may side with the heroine at any cost, regardless of how absurd. Also, at not even 90 minutes, Marama is too short for its own good; another twenty could've gone a long way to turn the audience towards her plight. This is a darkly photographed, often times nice to look at, morally uncompromising mess.

☆☆

"Prada 2" brings back the fabulous cast - but with a thin conflict narrative

 

I won't lie: I was looking forward to The Devil Wears Prada 2. Few things are more entertaining than watching the talents of Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep at their adversarial best. But whereas most of the main characters were not BFFs the first time around, in this sequel they are at least acquaintances. Hathaway's Andy Sachs is happy throughout the movie, never showing the slightest dissatisfaction with her new position at Runway. And hardly is there the cold awkwardness between her and Streep's Miranda Priestly, the ultimate ice queen villainess from the original.

Such friendliness may be ok in real life, but in a movie whose entire charm is based on the main characters' animosities towards one another, it comes across as less than satisfactory. There are new characters who pop in and out, including an architect (Patrick Brammall), whose relationship with Andy never takes off, in any way shape or form. I felt bad for the actor, whose pointless presence in the story only took away from the more fascinating leads - and therefore may have peeved the franchise's biggest fanbase.

The Devil Wears Prada 2 is entertaining enough, but it really never justifies its existence after a two decade long absence. The script needed to be spectacular, instead of merely vanilla. Recommended only for the true Prada aficionados.

☆☆ 1/2

Thirst for hip-hop success takes Scottish boys into "Schemin'" territory

 

A pair of Scottish young men, circa 2003, pretend to be American rappers and ultimately reach admirable success. Directed by established actor James McAvoy, the movie is - more or less - standard rags to riches musical biopic fare. Despite the fact that the duo in question - named Silibil n'Brains, didn't necessarily reach universal fame, their success was stained due to the-foot-in-the-door under false pretenses scandal.

California Schemin' isn't a bad movie - not by a long shot. The two leads, Seamus McLean Ross and Samuel Bottomley, are exceptional in their roles. Their characters' climb to fame, and ultimate descent, is accompanied by temptations to infidelity to long time girlfriends, use of drugs, and personal antagonism towards each other. It is a well staged, well acted movie, but if I'm being honest, its arc is too familiar and utterly predictable - not in the least due to its fact based story.

☆☆1/2

Charm oozes out of every character in "Sheep Detectives"

 

Not since 1995's Babe has a live action movie featuring talking farm animals captured the audiences as The Sheep Detectives. Based on the 2005 novel, Three Bags Full, by Leonie Swann, the story centers on an English shepherd, George Hardy (Hugh Jackman), who tends to a flock of sheep he loves more than life itself. He also reads them crime fiction stories, which comes in handy when he mysteriously dies, and the sheep are forced to investigate his death.

The movie features an array of characters (by several notable actors), both human and animal, and combines elements of family entertainment, detective mystery, and betrayal within a small town's infrastructure. There's hardly a dull moment in it, and more than enough laughs for a wide type of audience. You'll hardly find a more entertaining, wholesome entertainment. I, for one, am hoping for a sequel (fingers crossed).

☆☆☆1/2

British prison rules and spontaneous violence are the heart of gritty "Wasteman"

 

Taylor (David Jonsson) has served 13 years in a British prison. He has a son he's never met, and is about to be released soon. Life will finally get right for him. Until he gets a new bunkmate, Dee (Tom Blyth). To say the dude's a sociopath is an understatement. To assume he'll drag Taylor down with him is almost inevitable.

Cal McMau's Wasteman is a gritty, compelling British prison picture, one where violence over drug monopoly can spark endless conflicts, many of which end up online for the world to see. Jonsson is terrific as the timid, drug addicted Taylor, a man not only too weak to stand up for himself, but also to kick his self-destructing habit. The movie captures a lot of drama, both internal and otherwise, and all in 90 minutes. 

Where many prison movies would succumb to exhausting cliche, Wasteman glows with authenticity, and will stay with you long after it's over.

☆☆☆1/2