Poorly imagined "Bunch" is an overlong, unwatchable mess

 

It seems that every month, Rotten Tomatoes over-rates several movies for ... reasons I can not exactly understand. Their latest decoy is Honey Bunch, a movie (with a whopping 94%!) that wants to be horror and surreal and funny and ... who the fuck knows what else. The result? A poor man's Kafka-esque 'nightmare' vision of a couple who venture to a mental health facility after the wife (Grace Glowicki) experiences a head injury. Once there, she experiences flashes of memories (real or otherwise) of strange, unexplainable things.

Directors Madeline Sims-Fewer and Dusty Mancinelli are all over the cinematic map. Their characters, their plot, the staging - but especially the screenplay, in addition to the poor casting choices - are unimaginably amateurish. The movie feels like an over-long student film. Judged as a feature, it's - at least - thirty minutes too long. At. LEAST.

Honey Bunch is an oxymoron, in a way; an independently financed film by Shutter (lately, they've produced more garbage than quality) that is just as bad - if not more so - than an expensive Hollywood 'blockbuster' that fails on every level - most of all the human one. Therefore, be warned: just because I wasted (nearly) two hours on this trash doesn't mean that you should.

1/2 ☆

Carnage and bloodshed are escalated in poignant "Bone Temple"

 

Continuing where last year's 28 Years Later left off, Nia DaCosta's 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple elevates the gruesome cruelty several notches - and this in the opening few minutes. The little protagonist, Spike (Alfie Williams), is now travelling with the Satanic cult known as the Jimmies. Led by the charismatic Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal (Jack O'Connell, who is on his way to portray as many despicable characters on the big screen as anyone who's ever lived), they roam the wasteland, and murder anyone not sharing their depraved world view.

Meanwhile, Dr Ian Kelson (Ralph Fiennes) befriends an infected alpha known as Samson (Chi Lewis-Parry), and soon begins to turn the monster into his own submissive pet. Could it be that the rage virus indeed has a cure?  And if so, how can it be distributed to the world beyond?

The Bone Temple is a worthy sequel - albeit, at times, gory as fuck - and it wisely sets up a potential fifth film. The movie's real heart and soul is Fiennes, whose gentle wisdom and profound goodness guides the story to its satisfactory conclusion. His virtuosity as an actor is so in command of our attention that it's hard to imagine the narrative without him.

☆☆☆

Down to Earth "Thing" is a mature portrayal of adults learning endless life lessons

 

An argument can be made that Bradley Cooper the director is just as good as Bradley Cooper the actor - if not more so. 2018's A Star is Born is an arguable masterpiece, and the best version of that story yet (out of four existing films). 2023's Maestro was less effective, but Cooper's effort - and heart - were in the right place.

Is this thing on? is definitely the least Hollywood-ish of Cooper's three directorial efforts. Focusing on a middle aged couple (Will Arnett and Laura Dern) whose dwindling marriage leads to their separation, the movie follows the husband as he (accidentally) falls into the New York city comedy scene as a performer. The experience leads to new revelations about his own life, about his ex, and about what caused their marriage to disintegrate. 

I had low expectations coming into this movie, but left it feeling better about not only the characters, but myself as well. There are no bad - or even stupid - people here: only struggling individuals who, like children, never cease learning the most basic life lessons.

☆☆☆

Chalamet's eccentric Marty is all over the characterial specturm in "Supreme"

 

It is rumored that Timothy Chalamet will (most likely) win his first Oscar next month for playing the quirky, polarizing lead, Marty Mausewr, in Marty Supreme. Given the complexity (or should I say, the impossibility of rationality?) of the protagonist, Chalamet does as much as he can given the material. And it is precisely this, the material, that is as perplexing as the film's ridiculously high RT rating.

Marty sells shoes by day, and plays table tennis in his free time. He engages in an affair with Rachel (Odessa A'zion), a married woman living in his mother's building. He also sleeps with a has-been Hollywood actress, Ray (Gwyneth Paltrow), while staying in a fancy hotel in London. What any of these people see in the conniving, duplicitous Marty is beyond comprehension. The man lies with every breath he takes, and exudes wiliness at every turn. He is not a human being; he is a disconnected film strip run at hyperkinetic speed, a human cartoon who isn't really anything of substance.

The final scene in which this bastard finally breaks down is supposedly his repentance. It comes across as too little too late, a disingenuine ode to a schemer who, instead of representing a being of flesh and blood, plays an actor playing a person who fails to connect, at every single turn.

☆☆

"Redux" is a half-baked, amateurish portrayal of vengeance done clumsily

 

The blurb for Redux Redux had me going instantly: A distraught woman (Michaela McManus) travels through parallel universes to kill her daughter's murderer over and over again. Along the way, she meets another teenager whom she fears will suffer the same fate - unless she interferes. There are shoot-outs and action scene wanna-bes, and some gruesome murder scenes. 

Yet despite all its effort to come across as genuinely compelling, Redux Redux manages to get worse as it trods along. Its central flaw? By keeping the daughter off screen (whose murder propels the protagonist's goal), the filmmakers (Kevin and Matthew McManus) keep us at an arm's length, feeling not a thing when (I can only imagine) they wanted the audience to cheer with emphatic jubilation upon her murder's repeated demise.

Despite its hight RT rating (currently at 98%), Redux Redux is primarly an amateurish effort, through and through. Writing, acting, the cheap sci-fi concept: they're a short student film idea/execution stretched to feature length. I can't speak for most of the critics who're praising it, but if this was a made for TV (sci-fi channel, perhaps?) feature film, it'd be laughable. RT, you've just lost a shitload of credibility.

☆/1/2

Blood soaked "Primate" is parts thrilling, parts disgusting - but all quite watchable

 

In an isolated, affluent hose in rural Hawaii, a domesticated primate (Ben) goes apeshit (pun intended) and terrorizes the humans that have taken care of him (and their friends and guests). It's suspected that Ben's sudden rage is due to a rabies virus he incidentally caught from an intruding mongoose. What follows is an hour of pure horror movie thrilling adrenaline, one that is equal parts compelling and breathtaking, and equal parts disgusting (was it really necessary to be that gratuitously shocking in the opening two minutes, before the audience has had the chance to properly adjust their asses in the seats??).

The trapped group within the house where the ape goes nuts, slowly but surely, meet gruesome demises. Additionally, two boys/young men arrive, and are... well, it's best I say no more. Of the main human cast, there is little to say, for all the female leads look the same (not an exaggeration). Primate contains more than several genuine thrills, but by succumbing too often for the cheap macabre, it overplays its hand in assuming that more is actually more (it is not). 

☆☆1/2

"Road to Revenge" takes blood soaked action to a new creative level

 

This may sound crazy, but Sisu: Road to Revenge is even a bigger, bloodier spectacle than its 2022 predecessor. Whereas the central character, Aatami Korpi (Jorma Tommila), the indestructible Finnish commando, was assaulted by Nazis shortly after the end of WW2, this time around his aggressors are the Soviets, circa 1946. Who knew how difficult it is to be a sixty-plus year old former super soldier, trying to retire in peace.

On Korpi's trail is Yeagor Draganov (Stephen Lang), a Russian officer who murdered the protagonist's family. He sends vehicles after Korpi, which results in a fantastic chase where a large truck nearly flies through the air. Warplanes drop bombs, creating blasts resembling a nuclear bomb. And the final sequence aboard a train is as perfect a juxtaposition of gruesome, cartoonish action and over-the-top comedy. 

Writer/director Jalmari Helander has created a pair of action films that will challenge the best this genre has to offer. My fingers are crossed that he concludes Korpi's saga with a third installment; if he does, Sisu trilogy will have few to challenge its bold creativity.

☆☆☆☆

Jessie Buckley's grieving mother is the heart of melancholic "Hamnet"

 

Majority of Chloe Zhao's Hamnet feels long, slow paced, and at times plain old cumbersome. A story of a man (Paul Mescal) and woman, Agnes (Jessie Buckley), who meet in the opening minutes and proceed to share a kiss felt strange for a story set in late sixteenth century. I kept thinking, does Zhao care at all about building up this romance?

Long, slow moving scenes follow, during which the man and woman fornicate (also way too early in their courtship), and eventually - despite the man's family's objections - marry. They have two children, Judith and Hamnet. When Judith contracts the Black Plague, the brave Hamnet somehow extracts his sister's sickness onto himself, dying as a result. Agnes is devastated, as is the father, who's spends most of his time in London, writing plays for the stage.

Jessie Buckley is a sensation in this movie. If she doesn't win the Best Actress Oscar, then the award should be retired, and the ceremony never broadcast again. Yet despite my overall dissatisfaction with the movie's story (it is rather weak; I also tried reading Maggie O'Farrell's novel that it was based on, and found it equally exhausting), the final scene, involving the presentation of William Shakespeare's play  (only late in the movie do we learn the husband's true identity) in front of a fascinated audience, saves and ultimately makes the movie. Buckley's quiet reaction of imagining her son finally finding peace is moving to the max, encapsulating a mediocre screenplay to a heartfelt conclusion.

☆☆☆

Teenage angst and tween bullying tread water in unfulfilling "Plague"

 

There are moments in The Plague, director Charlie Polinger's debut feature, where the early teen angst boils upwards and nearly bubbles over the edge. Ben's (Everett Blunck) anxiety peaks and dives as he swerves the social climate of a water polo camp with a dozen other horny and profane boys, all on the verge of proclaiming bullying and mocking others as their primary religion. The object of ridicule is Eli (Kenny Rasmussen), a kid whose body has been covered by a mysterious rash. The boys nickname him The Plague, and avoid him when he comes near them. It's not long before Ben's kindness to the outcast makes him a target for ridicule.

The Plague is a well meaning examination of puberty run amok. It is well shot, and especially well performed, as most of the young cast is convincing more often than not. But the singular faux pas it makes is leaving is with a (somewhat) anti-climacting ending. I expected more than a few droplets of blood and a rushed ride to a hospital during a rainstorm, and the protagonist dancing madly by himself (how very Beau Travail of him) as the cuckling bystanders watch along. It is an ok final scene, but perhaps one unworthy of the ninety-plus bold minutes that preceded it.

☆☆1/2

"Dead" injects complications of marital grief into familiar zombie trope

 

As a wife searching for her missing/infected/possibly dead husband in Tasmania, Ava (Daisy Ridley) evokes emotions of anger and sadness at once. She volunteers to remove the bodies of the dead, and to notify the army to kill any remaining dead who 'wake up' (a side effect of the experimental weapons explosion that created the catastrophe to begin with). Ultimately, she'll team up with Clay (Brenton Thwaites), a laid back dude who enjoys a drink and riding fast motorcycles, before being thrown into the thick of things. Grieving husbands, the undead lurking behind every corner, and a sense of dread and impending doom like none other.

We Bury the Dead borrows elements from previous zombie movies (28 Days/Weeks/Years Later), while injecting the story with an uncommon marital despair twist in the final act that I didn't see coming. Director/writer Zack Hilditch has managed to construct something original out of numerous pieces of recycled material, and for that he must be given proper credit. I, for one, will be looking out for his next cinematic output.

☆☆☆

Hopps & Wilde challenge each other's friendship on another wild case in "Zootopia 2"

 

As a pair of mismatched partners at Zootopia's Police Department, Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde are as irresistible as animated animal characters get. In this sequel to 2016's Zootopia, they're struggling not only with tolerating the nuanced characteristics and mannerisms of each other (they even attend partner focused group therapy sessions), but are soon working with Gary the snake, an uncommon reptile in a city where such animals have been forbidden. At the center of the plot is an original city plan of Zootopia, an object to which two different parties have a claim to. Needless to say, Hopps and Wilde have their hands full.

Just as the first time around, the filmmakers (directors Jared Bush and Byron Howard) fill every shot and frame with gorgeous visuals, clever gags, and inject the screenplay with a film noir-ish mystery brimming with excitement and suspense. They even bring back Gazelle, the famous pop star (voiced by Shakira), whose closing credits song resembles the first movie's hit. Zootopia 2 is some of the best material that Disney Animation has to offer, and knowing how vast their collection of classics is, that's saying something.

☆☆☆1/2

Devious "Housemaid" places sexy, worthy adversaries against each other

 

Paul Feig (Bridesmaids, Spy) would hardly have been my first choice to direct The Housemaid, an adaption of the novel of the same name by Freida McFadden. Yet as craftfilly as it's been constructed, evoking elements of Hitchcock and even shades of classic conflicts of Joan Crawford and Bette Davis, the movie utilizes the charm and skill of its two starlets (Sydney Sweeney and Amanda Seyfried) to great effect. I'll avoid spoiling the plot in order to not ruin the fun for the rest of you. But take my word for it: The Housemaid is delicious fun, evoking thrillers of yore, in which two vixens in their prime command every second of its two-plus-hour running time.

One last point: this movie resembles the South Korean film, The Handmaiden (2016), in both plot, characters and the revelations of the final act. I'm told that McFadden did not use it as influence when writing the novel. Now, I'm not accusing her of plagiarism, but I do wish she'd point out the similarities, some of which are 'coincidentally' uncanny.

☆☆☆

"Pillion" focuses on man-on-man submission as a step toward self realization

 

Henry Lighton's Pillion starts off well enough. A mysterious motorcycle biker (Alexander Skarsgard) zips on the highway, curiously watched by a fascinated man (Henry Melling) from the backseat of a car. Soon thereafter, a quartet performs Christmas songs at a British pub, a place where both men from the earlier scene happen to be. For no reason at all, the smaller one is passed a note from the large, muscular biker. Numbers are exchanged, and curiosities aroused, to say the least. 

The movie includes a few semi-graphic sex scenes, which may not be everyone's cup of tea. Far from being classified as 'sexy,' I found them redundant and unnecessarily long. Most of the reviews claim Pillion to be "hilarious." How I wish it was so; I found it dreary at times, and fascinating to a far lesser effect. I'm not saying it's a failure; it merely presents the protagonist's arc in ways that I could not entirely understand. As of the writing of this review, this movie holds a 100% RT score (from 82 reviews). Overrated? I'd say yes; but it's not the first film to be overhyped, and (sadly) not the last.

☆☆1/2

Haunting "Sirat" presents a dry open landscape as portal to hell

 

While searching for his daughter, whom he's not seen in months, Luis (Sergi Lopez), ventures into the deserts of Morocco. With his young son Esteban (Bruno Nunez Arjona) in tow, he meets a group of ravers/hippies who travel in their large vans, dancing to techno beats while tripping on heavy hallucinogens. When the local army forces them to leave the area, Luis and the hippies venture into the wildness of the desert, encountering accidents and catastrophes of epic proportions.

Sirat is directed by Oliver Laxo, a French born Galician filmmaker whose credits include Mimosas and Fire Will Come. His latest is a surreal tale of grief, aimless partying bordering on nihilism, and a minefield that may as well have been constructed by the anti-Christ. This is not a film that mainstream audiences will find enjoyable, but judged on its audacity alone, Sirat is a major accomplishment, and a worthy nominee for Best International Feature at the 98th Academy Awards.

☆☆☆1/2

Goofy "Anaconda" makes a drastic tonal shift from the '97 original

 

Four lifelong friends, inspired by a cheap short film they made as children, decide to travel to Brazil and remake the creature feature Anaconda. Once they arrive in the jungles of Amazon, everything that could go wrong, does. The trained snake they hoped to film is accidentally killed; they encounter evil gold miners who place their lives in danger; and worst of all, an enormous anaconda snake begins to terrorize them in unimaginable ways.

Despite the likeable cast (Paul Rudd, Jack Black, Thandie Newton, Steve Zahn), Anaconda is, tonally, all over the place. Often times funny, sometimes too serious, at other times just plain weird, it's never truly believable (one of the characters is swallowed by the giant snake, and not only does he survive such ghastliness, he's also unphased by the experience and physically able to run and exert himself like the fittest Olympian athlete). 

All of that would, of course, be forgiven if the movie left a lasting impression. But alas, aside from cashing in on a handful of short-term thrills, the movie's screenplay fails to tug at the audience's hearts. Not even the cameos by Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez (both stars of the original) can salvage the laziness of its inept story. 

☆☆

"Ella" weakness is in not doing too little - but in doing way too much

 

James Brooks has, undoubtedly, made some of the best adult dramas. Terms of Endearment, Broadcast News, and As Good as it Gets are enduring American classics, and will stand the tests of time. With his latest, Ella McCay, Brooks has tried to recapture the magic of yesteryear - but with minimal success. And minimal is an understatement. 

As played by Emma Mackey, Ella is an overachiever. In her early thirties, she's already a governor of her state, a mentor to her isolated brother (Spike Fearn), and a critical daughter to her philandering father (Woody Harrelson). But her biggest judgment faux pas is her husband Ryan (Jack Newell), a most duplicitous man who turns into a conniving snake once Ella reaches even basic levels of political influence. How could a smart, well rounded woman have made such a colossal mistake when selecting her life partner?

Most of the movie feels like it was on fast forward. Scenes move too fast, characters are never fully developed, and ending arrives before anything of relevance had preceded it. Based on its poor critical and box office reception, it seems unlikely that Brooks will get to make another movie. At 85 years of age, an argument can be made he never should've been given a budget for this muddled mess.

☆1/2